As of Late (the past 22 years)

Have you ever just needed to leave? When your mind longs to roam yet never wants to arrive and knowing this you generally stay put?

I haven’t since the last time I was lonely



In the meantime, I admit I had my moments. I knew I wanted to be with her. Unfortunately, at times, I fit into my circumstances like a four year old into his father’s crisp white shirt. No mater how cute this may sound it is quite unlike the endearing image of the little sister happily clumping around in her mother’s heels. I, already feeling the responsibility and worry carried in the threads of the shirt he wore to work wished for an escape, a midlife crises unearned. In my selfishness I waited for her to take off the starched weight. I sighed as one button at a time her loving hands freed me from the shirts oppressive grasp and she slid me back into the slim fit shirt of more careless years. At times weeks would pass without care and then, unwarned she would turn to see me sitting miserably up to my neck in buttons and cotton. And I not taking so much as the pains of loosening the collar.



She says, “It’s time you learned to dress yourself.”

I agree.



So once again my mind walks, steps out the front door, puts a hat on its head and, while only steps way has already disappeared into the distance. My mind walks because my body needs to think. My mind walks because it thinks too much. My mind walks because thinking is what got me into this mess in the first place. My mind walks because it needs to know how I can wash the connotation from these starched cotton threads. My mind avoids destination because it has no eyes to see when my wardrobe is acceptable.